Flex Fox Fantasy

Wake up losers, the 2024 season is set to begin in roughly six weeks and I thought I would kick start all of your peanut brains with the first bit of league content to start the year. Not to spoil anything too much, but I have some big plans coming up for league content this year, not the least of which includes an off-season re-cap podcast, a better know an owner reboot, and a keeper list power rankings article once keepers lock, so stay tuned for those pieces of content!

I would also like to announce that the Weekly Show will be returning for a fifth? Season! It's probably bad I don’t know how long the podcast I created has been around, but I’ll be kind to myself in my old age. Anyway, let’s dive into my bold predictions in no particular order.

1. Newton will not finish in the top four this year (he will miss the playoffs)

Now before you all jump on me for starting off mild, let us not forget that in each of the past three years Newton has finished in the top 4, so not only finishing outside the top 4 but missing the playoffs entirely, would be a marked departure from his previous track record of success. My main reason for skepticism when it comes to his team is, it's not very good (no seriously), Newton blew his entire asset load last year “going for it” and now is left with a barren farm system (according to Jatheesh), and not much talent at the major league level. Even if Glasnow remains healthy, and CES steps up and takes a step, I don’t think it will be enough given Newton’s holes on his roster. In particular, his starting pitching is filled with uninspiring options outside of Glasnow and Berrios and his bats are a mishmash of veterans at the end of the road and unproven rookies. Look away from this dumpster fire this year folks.

2. Chow’s theme will involve a religious element for the first time ever.

I don’t have any insider information, I just happen to check ESPN in an addictive manner, checking everyone’s rosters to make sure I know what players are on each team (don’t test me, its embarrassing). The other day when I was scouring ESPN, I noticed Chow’s team name was “Thoughts and Prayers’ and it got me thinking, what if he’s going the secular route? If he’s reading this, I could totally see a theme where Chow only rosters Christian practicing players. How would you get this info? Maybe Chow can quit his job and interview his roster personally to confirm their religious affiliations. Either way, its about time someone in the league did a religious themed squad and really turned up the political heat in here.

3. Ryan Neeson will be denied a repeat championship and will miss the FFFF final.

Considering how dominant Ryan’s team was this past season, this prediction is a lot bolder than it may have been in years past. Let’s face some facts, on paper, Neeson’s team is by far and away the best team in the league and should romp to a repeat championship. But here’s the thing, is Neeson a top manager in the league, probably, but is he the top manager in the league? Probably not, and there are a few managers I can think of who could bridge that talent gap if push came to shove. Also, let’s not forget that despite his dominance in 2023, prior to that, Neeson’s playoff track record was, let say, blemished with early post-season exits so it's certainly in the realm of possibility he loses in the semi finals or gasp the first round (yes he makes the playoffs I’m not a lunatic).

4. The winner of the 2024 FFFF will be Flex himself

He might get mad at me for jinxing him into oblivion, but shockingly, I trust Flex and his team building, I mean, I’m still sore from the fleecing he did to me for Corbin Carroll, and Flex seems to have a strong knack for identifying young talent (think Gilbert, Webb, Bradish for starters). Now comes the hard part, putting the finishing touches on a contender through smart drafting, adds, trades, and combining all of that with elite roster management. Most of us either have never seen Flex operate as a contender (or in my case) haven’t seen it since our earliest days in the league, and for those of you who weren’t around, his run as an elite team was umm checks sheet underwhelming (the Kongo Kommunity Kollege) was an apt name. But with all that said, I am firmly behind Flex this time around for two main reasons; 1) I believe he has learned from his past mistakes as an elite team and he will be better prepared to function at the top of the league; and 2) his talent base back then was built around middle to late prime stars and soon to be past their prime talent (think late 20’s Strasburg and Rizzo). This time, Flex has built organically from the ground up and his core is full of young just entering their prime talent, giving him a larger buffer for error and a safety net even if he continues to be sub-par at managing a contender. For these reasons I see Flex winning this year and surprising us all and making this prediction look conservative.

5. A Jeffrey will leave the league at the end of the Year.

There. Can. Only. Be. Juan. Just kidding, I mean, this one is pretty simple, some of us are getting older now, into our senior, childbearing years, and maybe having kids is taking a toll on our ability to manage our rosters? All shots at Lim aside, Chow is also equally likely to leave, since he’s proven all that he needs to. We are talking about a Hall of Fame Manager, potentially the greatest ever to sign into ESPN for this league (a manager who has won multiple titles while handicapping himself with a theme). If Chow walked away, I would not be surprised in the least. To spice up this prediction, I have him losing to Flex in the finals and walking away out of disgust and anger, only to return years down the line to re-assert his dominance.  

Bonus Prediction: Jatheesh will adopt a dog this year and name him Chad, don’t ask me why this is a prediction or what type of dog, just let this sit out in the ether and marinate.

Happy 2024 everyone and good luck.

As always, the god-tier creator of content,

Whizkid.