Flex Fox Fantasy

I think this has been done in the past, by someone other than myself, but I thought it would be fun to look at each GM and team and compare them to their most similar MLB “Doppleganger”. My requirements are simple, anything I can latch-on to either personally or for your team that is relatable to an MLB team is grounds to be compared to that team. Let’s begin.

The Mad King - Houston Astros

We gotta start with the layups first, right? Name a more iconic duo? Neeson continues to put up amazing results year after year and everyone hates how good his team is, so much so that we all wonder if he’s cheating to earn his success.

Kaos Reigns over House Cruz - Seattle Mariners

Both teams have a GM named Jerry who is arguably addicted to trading for the sake of seeing their transactions appear in the league notifications bar. Both Jerry’s kneecap their teams with their addictive trading personalities so much so people begin to question their sanity. 

Club Europeo de Flex - Baltimore Orioles

Like the O’s Flex has been rebuilding for what seems like an eternity, compiling prospects in an attempt to finally be relevant. While he might be a year behind the O’s in terms of his team’s timeline, his time is squarely here for him to unleash his rebuild on the rest of the league.

Addicted Gooner - Oakland Athletics

Neither Chris nor John Fischer gives a single shit about the team they oversee. Like Athletics fans, league members should riot and refuse to play Chris in matchups until he is removed from the league.

Tyler’s Bomb Squad - San Diego Padres

Having good players is only one part of championship success. Like the Padres, Tyler’s team is full of high end talent that has yet to prove it can or will win anything. Is now the time?

Squirtle Squad - New York Yankees

Like the Yankees, Squirtle Squad believes that their squad is at the center of the baseball universe when only they/their fans think that is the case. While a comparison to the Los Angeles Dodgers is almost equally apt due to Jatheesh’s raging gambling habits, the Yankees comparison is just too clutch to ignore here.

Chateau du Fey - San Francisco Giants

Like the Giants, Chow has a lineage of greatness (a la 2010’s Giants teams). Like the Giants, Chow is in a rebuilding/retooling phase where we don’t know if he will/they will be successful, but we will always have those titles in quick succession to hold over others. 

4th Quarter Jimmy Butler - Toronto Blue Jays

The parallel here is so easy it writes itself, once the talk of the league as the trendy pick to win it all, Tillo, like the Jays has achieved absolutely nothing, and is not on the descent into league purgatory, not to be heard from (from a contention perspective) for at least 5-10 years. 

Bash Brothers - Tampa Bay Rays

This comp was tough, RKR always seems to make smart moves, and if he’s interested in a player that otherwise seems boring it's because he sees something in them no one else does. RKR’s hallmark has been his ability to draft, develop and trade for pitching. RKR is firmly always in the contender picture. Like the Rays, he’s the team you hate to face when it matters.

The Illuminati - Washington Nationals

Mike, like the Nationals has had his glory, he’s won a championship and continues to rest on those laurels. Like the Nationals Mike is in the rebuilding wilderness, putting out an offence that makes even the strongest stomachs quiver with nausea at its lack of talent. His pitchers are interesting, but it's going to be some time before we see this team compete and when we do it's going to have none of the personnel from its glory years.  

Big Beefy Baseball Boys - Minnesota Twins

A solid team that you think would win if it gets the cupcake path to the playoffs/finals, Graeme’s team has some good talent but probably won’t scare anyone come playoff time when the big boys are unleashed. Credit to Graeme though for making smart moves that keep him on the fringes of contention.

Midland Racoons - Colorado Rockies

Questionable player development (check), one star player that needs to get the fuck off the team (check), plays in home park that makes people wheeze from its altitude and/or stench (check), not going to contend for decades (check).

Team 69 - Pittsburgh Pirates

Can’t say I’ve ever seen Lim or Pirates owner Bob Nuttall in the same place. Can’t say either of them give too many fucks what their fans, other owners/managers or their leagues think about them, their success is reflected appropriately. 

A Measure of Force - Philadelphia Phillies

Like the Phillies, Newton is clearly all in every year. His team hasn’t gotten over the hump but has gotten close on a few occasions and has a track record of consistent success. His players are veterans who are trying to rally around each other for one last hurrah, before they fall into the competitive abyss, and we all wonder if this is the year, they do it.

Director of the FFFBA - Milwaukee Brewers

Like the Brewers it seems like Aidan is all-in every year with a track record of having good players who just don’t do much in the postseason. While the Brewers are constrained by their small market, low-budget structure, Aidan is constricted by his failure to respond to reasonable trade offers and constant peddling of league garbage. 

The Juson Alliance - Detroit Tigers

Both teams used to be good once upon a time, both teams star players are long gone or retired, only one has Javy Baez (RIP) but both need to think long and hard about how to move forward. 

Stubby Clapp Clappers - Montreal Expos

This is the only comp that made sense since you’ll have about the same level of success trying to contact officials from either organization.

The Man - Boston Red Sox

Both teams have won in the recent(ish) past. Both teams have fan bases questioning whether there is any leadership at the helm, and if that leadership is allowed to spend money or take trades to make the team better. Both fan bases shouldn’t hold their breach on any future success. 

The Stadelmonstars - Los Angeles Angels

I guarantee you Ohtani wants off of Ian’s fantasy team as much as Mike Trout secretly wants off the Angels. Can you blame either of them? Neither team has shown any ability to build around them, at least the Angels have been to the playoffs once.